“I’m in love with my best friend but I have a partner”

Overheard at work: “I know I have a boyfriend and he’s great…amazing even but I can’t help the way I feel about Daryl either, I mean he is my best friend after all… I suppose I’ve just been in denial about my feelings for a long time”

Woah woah woah…wait a minute did I hear that correctly.

So I’m sat eating my lunch casually minding my business and this was the hot topic on the next table between the two receptionists. Anyway between gulps of peach ice tea and bite-fuls of my prawn linguini smothered in hot pepper sauce, I’m subjected to listening in on this mundanely interesting conversation.

So for 20 minutes I listened to this lady talking about how much she desperately loved James and didn’t want to lose him but on the other hand how she’s always had an undeniable soft spot for Daryl her “best friend”, either way by the end of lunch she was no closer to a solution of what she was going to do. It all sounded a bit weird to me to be honest…surely common sense would tell you to drop one or maybe I’m being too basic about the situation. But first let us review the facts.

  1. She has a wonderful boyfriend whom she loves dearly.
  2. She has a best friend whom she also loves dearly.
  3. Her best friend doesn’t know of her feelings.
  4. Her boyfriend is also blissfully unaware, but has always been suspicious of her relationship with her best friend.
  5. She wants both of them in her life because she cares deeply for them both.

Well after carefully reviewing the facts I came to a few conclusions of my own.

  1. At some point she is definitely going to have to come clean about her feelings if not they’re going to continue to torment her.
  2. If she loves her partner as much she claims she does, surely she should distance herself from her said best friend as it’s just the respectable thing to do no? I mean you love him right? So why disrespect him by putting yourself in a position where you are close to another man who could potentially ruin your relationship.
  3. In any case or situation she has to make a choice, either she saves her relationship and draws away from her best friend to keep her feelings under control or she tries to find out whether her best friend would be interested in pursuing a relationship and ditches her boyfriend.

Either way someone loses out as she can’t keep both of them around, it’s a tad selfish and quite frankly not very fair on her poor boyfriend (either situation leaves him a little disappointed provided she comes clean, I mean his girlfriend is in love with another man, enough said!).

It’s all very tricky at the end of the day and what’s that I hear you ask “how do you avoid getting into this situation in the first place?” The answer is you can’t! You really can’t help who you fall for and at what time in life, sometimes it just happens. What you can avoid however, is the prolonged messy situation she has placed herself into; the easiest way to avoid that is first and foremost being honest about your feelings and secondly taking the necessary steps to remove yourself from it (FYI sitting at lunch crying about it over a plate of chips and beans is not an effective step).

And remember guys always follow your heart and stuff, so yeah.

Gwyn xoxo

www.collectiverandomparticulars.blogspot.co.uk

Find me on twitter: @goa__x

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